Most parents want to be good parents. Yet parenting is one of those things that does not have hard and fast rules. So how do we know what to do? How do we know what will support our children in being all they can be?
One of the most important things for parents to do is to learn to trust their own intuition. Your feelings tell you when you are on course or off course in your behavior with your children. When things feel right inside, then you know that you are being a truly loving parent, and when they feel wrong inside, you know you are out of alignment with what is in your highest good and your children's highest good.
I remember my mother telling me that she used to put her fist in her mouth to stop herself from crying and from picking me up when I was an infant and cried. She had read in Dr. Spock that babies should not be picked up when they cry, that it is good for their lungs to cry, and that she would spoil me if she picked me up. But her insides were telling her the opposite - that babies cry when they need food, changing, or love. It is so sad that she followed Dr. Spock instead of her own inner knowing.
Now research has proven that babies who are not picked up when they cry become more dependent and insecure than babies who are kept with their mothers. In other countries, babies sleep with their parents until they no longer want to, feeling safe all night. In our country, most babies are alone at night, some crying themselves to sleep. This is not only sad, it is not healthy for the baby.
So the first thing your child needs from you is to trust your inner knowing rather than any book you read.
Your child needs your loving presence - not your busy preoccupied presence. For your children to feel important to you, they need to feel you fully present with them - reading to them daily, playing with them, holding and comforting them, and listening to them.
Your children need for you to create a healthy environment for them by feeding them healthy food, restricting screen time - TV, computer, video games - and making sure they play outdoors and get enough exercise. They need your encouragement to develop their hobbies and interests. They need you to try natural remedies before resorting to drugs for illness, so that you don't set them up for more illness with the side effects of drugs.
They need for you to be a good role model of self-care. Children need to see their parents taking full responsibility for their own feelings instead of being victims and blaming others. With this role modeling, they will also learn to take full responsibility for their own feelings. Learning and practicing the Inner Bonding process that we teach will support you in becoming this loving role model for your children.
Children also need you to be a role model for care of the environment. My daughter told me that my 3-1/2 year-old grandson got very upset with the checker at the market for using a plastic bag. "No, no plastic bags! It's bad for the environment!" he told the checker. By role modeling caring for our planet, we can raise children who are much more conscious of taking care of our environment.
Your children need to see you being connected with a spiritual Source of love, peace and wisdom in order to naturally connect with their own higher power. By developing your spiritual connection, they can learn to have their own.
What do your children really need from you? They need you to learn to be all you can be so they have the role modeling and permission to be all they can be.
Friday, August 22, 2008
How Do You Know if Your Child has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
There are more than 2 million children suffering from ADHD in America, and the figures are set to increase exponentially every 4 years. Despite this, most parents are unaware of how to recognize ADHD, or how to treat it. The symptoms of ADHD are also easily mistaken for a child misbehaving, making it even harder for a parent to differentiate between the two.
ADHD is a form of Attention Deficit Disorder, and is the most common neurological disease that children suffer from, with up to 5% of the children in America afflicted. As a parent, learn to recognize the symptoms so that you can seek professional help for your child. The main symptoms of ADHD are aggression, impulsiveness, restlessness, learning disabilities, an inability to focus and hyperactivity. Hence, even for parents who know the signs to look out for, it is often difficult to draw the line between normal misbehavior and ADHD.
How to you differentiate between the various forms of ADD? Add simply means that your child is unable to concentrate, and likely to forget what you have told him less than 10 seconds ago. ADHD on the other hand, means that not only has he forgotten what you have said, he is also likely to be running around instead of staying still whilst you address him. If you suspect that your child may be suffering from ADHD, it is better to err on the side of caution and visit your doctor for a professional opinion. It is treatable, and if identified early you can make a difference in helping your child learn and cope with life.
There are many symptoms of ADHD, such as forgetfulness, restlessness, aggression, agitation, depression, anxiety, impulsive behavior and an inability to focus. However, these are highly common and often confused with the symptoms of anxiety, depression, thyroid, or a stressful environment. Excessive sugar and allergies may also cause the same symptoms, as well as if your child is highly intelligent causing him to be easily bored and hence restless.
Fortunately, more parents are gaining greater awareness of the problem, and schools have also played a major role in the dissemination of information regarding ADHD. Whilst it is a significant problem for a child suffering from ADHD, keep in mind that you are never alone and that there is help available readily. Often times, medication is the first answer that parents look to for solving the problem. However, there are other alternatives as well.
Parents should try to keep a closer watch over the child’s diet, and cut off foods with high sugar content, or possible allergies. Give the child more attention and time, and help him to feel connected to the environment. He knows that he is different, and you should try your best to help him feel that he belongs. Whilst medication can treat the symptoms, it is equally if not more important to ensure that the child’s emotional and mental health is well taken care of.
ADHD is a form of Attention Deficit Disorder, and is the most common neurological disease that children suffer from, with up to 5% of the children in America afflicted. As a parent, learn to recognize the symptoms so that you can seek professional help for your child. The main symptoms of ADHD are aggression, impulsiveness, restlessness, learning disabilities, an inability to focus and hyperactivity. Hence, even for parents who know the signs to look out for, it is often difficult to draw the line between normal misbehavior and ADHD.
How to you differentiate between the various forms of ADD? Add simply means that your child is unable to concentrate, and likely to forget what you have told him less than 10 seconds ago. ADHD on the other hand, means that not only has he forgotten what you have said, he is also likely to be running around instead of staying still whilst you address him. If you suspect that your child may be suffering from ADHD, it is better to err on the side of caution and visit your doctor for a professional opinion. It is treatable, and if identified early you can make a difference in helping your child learn and cope with life.
There are many symptoms of ADHD, such as forgetfulness, restlessness, aggression, agitation, depression, anxiety, impulsive behavior and an inability to focus. However, these are highly common and often confused with the symptoms of anxiety, depression, thyroid, or a stressful environment. Excessive sugar and allergies may also cause the same symptoms, as well as if your child is highly intelligent causing him to be easily bored and hence restless.
Fortunately, more parents are gaining greater awareness of the problem, and schools have also played a major role in the dissemination of information regarding ADHD. Whilst it is a significant problem for a child suffering from ADHD, keep in mind that you are never alone and that there is help available readily. Often times, medication is the first answer that parents look to for solving the problem. However, there are other alternatives as well.
Parents should try to keep a closer watch over the child’s diet, and cut off foods with high sugar content, or possible allergies. Give the child more attention and time, and help him to feel connected to the environment. He knows that he is different, and you should try your best to help him feel that he belongs. Whilst medication can treat the symptoms, it is equally if not more important to ensure that the child’s emotional and mental health is well taken care of.
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